Well, I think that it would probably be best if you knew a little more about me. It's easier to understand someone and their sentiments when you know more about them.
Well, this may come as a little bit of a shock: I am fifteen years old. I have not completed my GCSEs yet but I will do next summer. Scary stuff, huh? Well anyway, I don't want to drone on about myself so I'll just keep it short.
Ever since the first long book I read, Shiver (by Maggie Stiefvater), I have been a writer and a reader. I drifted away from expressing my creativity through drawings and pretty colours. I went to something more sophisticated: writing. Constantly, I was getting told how good I was at English by my English teacher. I wish he hadn't ever done that because he made me vain and egocentric when it came to writing. I was very, very confident. I was over confident. I know my English teacher was only being a teacher - being a man who is proud of his student's success and hard work - but when I got out into the real world of education, it hit me: I never was really that good at English. I may have been the "best female writer" at my secondary school, but when I moved to my high school, I was only good. I can write. I can grip people with my writing. I can evaluate poems and pieces of writing. But I was only "good". I wasn't excellent or outstanding. How arrogant I was! I didn't even see it.
So when I realized the true extent of my "excellency at writing", I went through major depression. I developed Writer's Block over a few months. I couldn't even write a paragraph. Whenever I came up with a good idea for my story, I savoured it, I laughed with tears, clinging onto that feeling that I have created something! with my fingernails.
After months of feeling worthless and depressed, I realized that I had GCSEs to think about, future careers, goals, a new beginning of life ahead of me. I knew I shouldn't be moping around, wishing for something that I would never get if I carried on acting the way I was. So I let go of writing. I knew I would return to it. One day. But I had to let go in order to seize my goals in school. It took a great deal of hard work weaning myself off writing. But I did it! Soon, I turned to reading. I read a lot of books. One book: "The Dark Heroine: Dinner with a Vampire." It inspired me so much that I could actually consider writing. I longed for it. So I did. I began writing and writing and writing. Before I knew it, my story had developed so much! I was so happy! And my Writer's Block is gone. Sometimes I feel like nah, can't be bothered anymore with it. But then I think about how long it's taken me to get to where I am. I could actually finish the book!
So - sorry for the babbling! - you can probably guess what my passion is: writing books. But my goal in life so far is to: actually finish a book! ...and pass all my GCSEs of course :)!
I don't know what else you might find in me...I think I've all that's relevant in the paragraphs above. I know I shouldn't say this but I am overall a boring person. I'm the sort of person you'd meet and think, 'I can't imagine her having a life.' I've thought that about other people before too! So I'm not angry, I'm just accepting. I'd like to interest people - to not come across as "boring" and "dull" one day. I would like to become known through the writing I create. Just as I'm sure you want to become :) Otherwise you wouldn't have visited this website.
Yeah, basically I am your average teenager - used to think I was amazing - and fell back down to earth with a nasty thud, went through depression - don't we all! - and picked myself back up.
And this is my blog! :) Hope you absorb from it what you need.
Gemma Out.
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